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Stacey Kasdorf

Long Distance Never Gets Easier

My life is pretty much an open book, if you ask me something I am more than happy to share. Lately I've gotten a lot of DM's on Instagram about our lifestyle. How we handle Jason being gone, the unknown of the future, how the girls cope with it and what's next for us. Instead of answering multiple messages, I thought I would share what our life has been looking like lately on here. As I write this there are still so many unknowns for our future, but I'm excited for what God is going to do.

If you haven't seen/read/heard through the grapevine, Jason is currently in Germany skating with a team. I'll share more about that in a separate post once we get more information. For now that means Jason is gone for a little less than a month. When Jason went on the road last season Everly was still young enough that she didn't really get it. Even this time, we tried to tell her that daddy was leaving for Germany (like she has any clue where that is), and she just was like okay whatever. It wasn't until the morning that he was leaving that things got real. Jason got so sad saying goodbye to her that we decided to bring her to the airport with us. She was all excited to go to the airport, she helped Jason with his bags and got him checked in. They even had a quick breakfast date at Stella's before he went through security. It was all fun and games until Jason actually walked away through security. Ev instantly was like "daddy come back", "daddy cooome", and started crying. In hindsight it probably would have been easier to leave her at home, but I think it was also good for her to see that he actually left. Otherwise she may not have understood why he wasn't coming home over the next few weeks. Long story short it was the saddest goodbye to date for me. Seeing them both get emotional made my heart so sad. This isn't even taking into account that Rosie is at an age where she changes so quickly. I hate when Jason misses milestones with the girls, and it only gets harder as they get older.

The upside to having the girls is that it kind of distracts me from the fact that my husband is also leaving. Jason and I do everything together, we are rarely apart and we are best friends. When he's gone I notice it in every part of my day. The nice thing with having the girls now is that I'm never totally alone, and taking care of them keeps me busy and my mind off of the fact that he's gone. Now that Ev gets it, we also make sure to call Jason every day. She loves talking to him on Facetime and always tells him about her day. She always gets sad when we say goodbye and asks for "daddy more", but it's nice that she can at least still see him every day. She'll still randomly ask if he's coming to the park, or out to the cottage, or wherever we're going in that moment, and I have to remind her that he's still in Germany. It does get her excited for the season though, because she'll say she wants to go to his hockey games or the rink randomly. It's the cutest. To answer questions we’ve been getting, yes, our plan is still that Jason will play hockey this year. We just don’t know exactly where yet, but are trusting that God has a plan!

One thing that is hard to do while single parenting is dealing with a diva. Ev has had a lot of attitude lately. She is in full independent mode. If I do anything for her, she has a serious meltdown. She's started acting out by hitting, throwing things or running away. Just ask anyone who has gone on a walk with me lately. She hates being in her stroller, but also hates walking - go figure. She goes from zero to full ugly cry in like 5 seconds. I honestly just have to laugh it off, and focus on remaining calm so I don't make her even more upset. If I react she gets even more wound up. The best though is when she is having a meltdown and Rosie starts crying. I just take a deep breath and ride it out. Ev can usually be talked off the ledge pretty quickly thank goodness. It’s at the end of those days that I wish I had some help from Jason. 

The main way I cope with Jason being gone is having a plan for each day with the girls. Like I've said before, I need to get out of the house each day even if it's just for a walk. If I plan out our days ahead of time it's easier to make sure we get things done and We don't go crazy being cooped up inside. We will often make a play date each day with a friend, and then we'll walk to the park, the store or the pool. I also try and get the girls to have their naps at the same time (which is happening right now). That allows time for me, either to take a nap, write on the blog, bake, read, etc. Something to recharge me for the afternoon. It's also so nice that both of the girls are asleep by 8, so I have the entire evening to clean-up, do laundry, and just relax. They have also been staggering their wake-up times which allows me to give each of them one-on-one time which is usually impossible when Jason is gone.

I think it's a lot harder for Jason to be away from us though. We still have the support of family and friends here, but Jason is all alone and this time in a completely new country. He had never even been to Europe before, so between the jet lag and missing us, it was especially hard for him to be away this time. The team has been great though and he's feeling more settled even after just a few days.

Would I prefer Jason be home with us all of the time? Of course. I signed up for this life though when I married Jason, and I'll support him even if it means him flying to Germany on a moments notice. If you know me, you'll know my type A personality doesn't naturally like to do anything on a whim. I'm a planner, organizer and researcher who likes to be in control. The only thing that makes living this life possible is our faith. I've talked about it before, but the unknown isn't scary if God is in control. He obviously wants what's best for us, so as long as we stay in sync with Him, I know our future looks bright. Once I let go of that control, it honestly made everything so much easier. Obviously Jason still has to put in the hard work and we have to be flexible, but it takes a lot of the pressure off. 

If you have any other questions about our lifestyle or how we cope with Jason being gone, leave a comment below!



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